My computer is not working. I feel like everytime something important or exciting happens in my life my computer is being difficult or getting fixed. I’m forced to blog at school which I don’t really care for. Hopefully by the time I get my technical issues resolved something exciting will happen again.
“I realize that these are little things. But they all add up to the big picture of my life. And if you don’t get them, then you don’t get me. And if he was ever going to get me, wouldn’t I have been gotten by now?”—
“We have to keep reinventing ourselves, almost every minute … because the world can change in an instant and there’s no time for looking back. Sometimes the changes are forced on us. Sometimes they happen by accident, and we make the most of them. We have to constantly come up with new ways to fix ourselves. So we change, we adapt, we create new versions of ourselves. We just need to be sure that this one is an improvement over the last.”—Grey’s Anatomy
I haven’t been feeling well lately. My tummy has been in knots and I’ve started to feel anxious again. My life is a mess, I’m all over the place. I can’t focus on one thing long enough to complete anything.
I haven’t been making the best decisions lately. I used to be so focused and on top of things. I want to turn things back around and make things like they were when I was in high school….I knew what and how to get what I wanted, and would actually get things done. I would like to keep this new attitude and outlook on life though and continue to improve it. I enjoy being in a great mood and others wanting to be around me.
On another note….
Boys are confusing me, which apparently means they don’t like you. If you’re confused they aren’t into you, if they are…you will know (read that in a magazine last night?!). I like this guy who confuses the crap out of me :/ and his close friend likes me. The friend is a great guy, sweet, caring, makes me laugh, is there for me…a great guy…..but I’m not attracted to him. I see him as my best friend. I don’t want to hurt him, because having your heart broken sucks!
“Every now and again I lose myself. I get lost in my thoughts and I feel myself start to fall. I desperately try to find something or someone to hang on to before I collapse. It seems a simple spoken sentence or an open hand keeps me from losing who I am completely.”—
I have so many emotions running through me RIGHT NOW at this moment. They all came out of no where! I wanna laugh, scream, kick ass, run around and dance. I wanna fly, I wanna die, I wanna cry. Ugh, I am a mess. I was on the phone and listening to History in the Making by Darius Rucker when I got this mix of emoions. Sadly, they’re leaving…now I just feel blank. This is so dumb.
I am happy to say that classes aren’t tooo bad for me. I do find myself slightly fidgiting but its not as bad as it was a year ago. I guess I am finally getting things together….? I mean I didn’t have this problem in high school and I was quite involved in several organizations. I am going to try to join two clubs, I really need to start building a resume. I hope I am better in a few weeks, because this whole thing was causing me lots of unnecessary stress and was very rediculous.
Sometimes you just need someone. Someone to make you smile when you’re sad. Someone to tell you you're beautiful. Someone to look forward to texting you everyday. Someone to talk to you every night. Someone to say, "I love you." And mean it. Sometimes you just need someone.
My school schedule for Spring 2010 is complete. Sadly I can’t work much during the week, only Monday and Thursday nights and Friday, Saturday and Sunday (looks like more doubles). Hopefully I can make the Dean’s list this semester, I am taking 13 hours. I hope I will still be able to graduate next Spring…
UGH! I am so confused. I have no idea what classes I need to take for the Spring. My advisor is super sweet, but doesn’t give me the proper attention that I need. I want to hurry up and graduate and the fact that I transfered from Texas State doesn’t help any. Classes don’t want to sub in and this bites! HELP ME!!